Only compete with yourself: Never learn anything not worth forgetting. ‘Sounds like a dropout’s worst-kept secret.’ Blame yourself for your failures and everyone else for your successes: Try to be born when they least expect you. ‘I gave them a real shock, I showed up at my own birth, and a century too early!’ Store your art in your memory and your memory in your art: Back up amazement for when things go well, and stockpile fortitude for when they go very badly. ‘Poor defeated sods.’ Refresh your approach daily. ‘I’ve always painted by numbers and I’m not about to be refreshed.’ Service your ‘kangaroo’ skin regularly and line it with the latest Teflon.