Great art is proof that only a true artist could have made it.
Art distinguishes humankind from rats, you dirty human.
Art is furnished by energy; great art is just energy spent wisely – it’s that complicated!
Brushes hold firm their memories until the imperative for dreaming arrives and hope is pressed and granted release against the drum of the canvas. ‘Brushes must have serious guilt issues.’
Fading passion is a cue to try plan B, and you will never look at lollipop ladies in the same way again.
Trust your intuition but remain open to the possibility that your critics are using the same radio frequencies as your guardian angels. ‘They should charge the guardian angels a monthly fee, I reckon.’
HOW TO POISON AN ARTIST ALERT: Just write ‘Toothpaste’on a tube of their lead-white paint.
Art reigns supreme when it is a gracious and rebellious two fingers up at society.
If you show favouritism towards any artwork, there will be discord in your artistic family; successes and failures are partners in the creative crime, so love all your art equally. ‘Will there be discord if I put the favouritism on the tips of my fingers, dab it on, and then run off?’
Artists are people with a profound interest in the melodrama of the human condition; artists are people who go unnoticed until they can no longer contain their creative voices. ‘You should order a DNA genealogy test kit; you might find you are related to a bloody social worker.’